Archive for the 'brown' Category

A Bang, A Whimper, The Long Bittersweet Goodbye

Dusty around here. It’s been a while. Here’s the deal:

I Didn’t Graduate
Oh, darkest of dark fantasies. Yea, it didn’t happen. The long dark hole that was the Fall of 2005 ended up swallowing me, and I have to finish over the summer. There are details, but all you need to know is that I will be done by September. Interesting note: Brown’s charter specifies that it will only give out actual diplomas once a year, in May. Those unfortunate souls like myself who technically graduate midyear will receive a personally signed letter from President Ruth Simmons attesting to our status as “RCDF”: Requirements Completed, Degree Forthcoming.

I Didn’t Leave
As soon as the powers that be determined that I wasn’t graduating, my immediate impulse was to get as far away from Rhode Island as physically possible. I nearly bought a solo, one-way ticket to Puerto Rico. I even had my (incredibly cheap) cabana a block from the beach picked out. I was going to leave the night after exams were over, take a bunch of books I’d been meaning to read, shut off my cell phone, and drink heavily. Maybe pick up a little Spanish. I’d come back in time to move out of Governor Street and life would go on.

My friends had other plans.

Led by Lenehan, who is perhaps the most un-ignorable man on the planet, I heard an uninterrupted chorus of “What? Why? You’re an idiot!” for over two weeks. Even people I haven’t necessarily gotten along with terrible well over the last four years were sort of shocked. Professors of whom I had grown fond (and even some I had not) in the last few years cracked on me incessantly. I tried explaining that it would be a hollow ritual, that it wouldn’t be right, that I didn’t deserve it. And those things ended up being at least partially true. But one person put it best: “Well, that makes perfect sense, if Senior Week and Graduation were only just about you. But if you’re not acting like a selfish bastard, then the choice seems pretty clear.” Point taken. So I stayed.

I Don’t Regret It
In the end, it was the right decision. (Yes, I know you all told me so.) It was a fabulous time. It was as fitting an homage as can be constructed to properly celebrate what have been four of the best years of my entire life. Senior Week was a glorious, hilarious, raucous, joyous collection of events and experiences that I will never forget. Graduation itself was an emotional, not quite whole, not quite pure, but beautiful experience nonetheless. Graudation ended up being a 50/50 split: half of me was thinking of myself and my situation and my last four years, and the other half was just so proud of the people of my class. ’06 was a force. We’re not good enough, not yet, but we’re absolutely a force. There are so many brilliant minds, so many transcendent talents, so much passion, such robust joie de vivre, such optimism, that my faith in the solvability of the world’s problems has consistently been renewed and strengthened these last four years. Graduation was the consummation of that process of renewal and strengthening and the high art rendering of an ancient tradition that links us with generations of Brunonians past. My life would be different if I had not gone. Thanks to you all, the All Stars of 117 Governor in particular, for convincing me to go.

So What Now?
So now here’s what I’m doing:

  • finishing coursework for my IR graduation requirements
  • slowly but surely starting to get in shape (I’m pretty pathetic right now)
  • starting the process of applying to the Navy
  • having an unpleasant operation on July the 20th, after which I’ll be out of commission for a few weeks
  • reading a lot, both for the coursework and for pleasure
  • trying to coalesce my scattered thoughts on the state of the world
  • trying to find a way to do more outdoors-y things like hiking and rock climbing
  • cooking quite a bit

That’s about it. It’s a very strange, very Purgatory-feeling existence. But Purgatory is, really, a good thing, right? One cleanses ones’ self for the adventure ahead.

Perhaps that’s just what I need.

Wow, Didn’t See That One Coming

If you google “Brian J. McGuirk,” this is the first link.  Even professors can do it.  Definitely didn’t see that one coming…

Zero Tolerance

Hey you.  Shut the hell up. I have zero tolerance for people who have incredibly loud, obnoxious, and/or stupid conversations in libraries when there are people within obvious view or earshot, and I’m in the carrel next to you.  You’re not even trying to whisper, and you, the dumb girl next to him, you’re yelling.  Shut.  Up.
I mean who raised you?  Did you miss “Library Etiquette” 101 back in Kindergarten?  Or are you just obnoxious,  uncaring and disrespectful to fellow citizens and library denizens by nature?

Either way, I want to fight you.  If anyone’s going to be loud in the library, it’s going to be me kicking your obnoxious ass out of the building.

Things I Need to Learn

  • Perfection in writing is rare and transcendental.  Sometimes you just need to write the content and leave the art and symmetry for later or never.
  • If you’re not writing, not reading, not working, just staying up till all hours of the night because you think you should be doing one of those things, you are a goddamned idiot.
  • Red Bull is a $2.50 placebo, and I take the bait every time.  Bloody worthless.  To think I could be drinking Earl Grey right now.
  • Wanderlust must be controlled.  I cannot (and don’t, thankfully) take long road trips to coastal Maine just because, technically, I have the capability to do so.
  • Wanderlust must not be used as a guise to hide the desire to avoid problems in my life.  Particularly lack of constructive writing.
  • Few people will remember my Coldplay review years from now.  Quite a few might note it if I don’t graduate because I couldn’t write a paper for a class, but I could write the review.
  • Not everyone is nice and trustworthy.
  • There’s little pride to be taken in being able to pull an all-nighter, especially an unproductive one.

Intro to Western Music – A Mini-Review

MU1 is called “Introduction to Western Music,” but thus far it’s been “Introduction to Musical and Audio Concepts with Western Examples.” Most of the work that we’ve done in the first two weeks has been, basically, an extended exercise to equip us with a musical-analytical framework.

This has been a valuable experience in and of itself. It’s been a long time since I played any music intensively, and our discussions of key and mode and harmony, and particularly our refresher on musical notation bring to mind long-dormant memories of afternoons at my early piano teacher’s house. I remember how the white shades on Susan’s french doors used to blow in the wind when the front windows were open in the spring and summer. Sometimes I’d wear shorts to my lessons, and the underside of my leg would squeak on her polished piano bench. I used to practice in our living room at Arbor Drive. The first real memory of me playing the piano was when my cousin Sarah-Jane came out to visit (no idea how old I was). She brought her sheet music to practice. I remember watching her play, then get up and walk into the kitchen. I jumped on the piano bench and started to play, just looking for sounds that sounded like they should be together. After that, Mom started me with Susan.

My current music teacher is neither as tall, blond or pretty as Susan, but has an undeniable and unique appeal all his own. Professor Josephson is a 50ish, small, mildly squat, graying man with notably big ears. (Upon meeting him, one cannot help but wonder if this last notable attribute is in some way responsible for his other immediately notable one: his dazzling, passionate, deep love of music.)

Class meets Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 9AM. There is a 2.5 hour listening session on Wednesday afternoons. The typical format of the class is that we talk about musical concepts for a while, perhaps with Prof. Josephson playing notes on the Stetson Grand off to the right in our small, stadium seating classroom. Then we listen to song samples, sometimes whole, sometimes just quick sections to illustrate a point.

Discussion is not like most classes, to put it lightly. Professor Josephson is a stickler for good grammar, in both written and spoken form. (Strunck & White is a required book for the course.) He particularly detests the use of fillers like “like”, “um”, or “uh.” When he feels the need to pause to think of how to phrase something correctly, he just breathes out in a particularly throaty manner, his head arched slightly back. The look in his eye is when he does this is of mild shock, not dissimilar to a man surprised not to find he tea in its customary cupboard. He checks another cupboard of his vast stores, frowns that someone put his tea back in the wrong place, then leans his head back forward and launches into his now fully formed thought. All the while, this mildly throaty breath has been slowly given back to the world, perhaps his span spins a bit at the wrist, conjuring up the words.

He is terrible with names, the fact of which he made full-disclosure the first day. People who are not too right or not too wrong do not need names. People who respond outside of this anonymous average trigger Josephson’s realization that he does not remember their name. Hearing it, he points, repeats the name, and walks on. He tries to look like he’ll remember it now, but smiles anyway out of self-knowledge.

The lectures, such as they are, are filled to the brim with historical and personal anecdotes, interesting musical etymologies, and sardonic, semi-cynical commentary on the state of the American political system. What comes across most, though, is a powerful love of the music we study in class. There have been several times when we noticed tears in his eyes while he was discussing topics in class. The two examples most prominent in my head are when he talked about Bach and his compositional genius, and when he talked about Leontyne Price, the African-American soprano prodigy, who seems to have stolen his heart from a very young age.

It’s a great class, with enough energy, richness, and daily surprise to get me out of bed early three days a week. There’s maybe no better compliment I can give than my consistent attendance.