The newswires have reported that the French Government has announced that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”.

The only 2 higher levels in France are “Surrender” and “Collaborate”. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France’s White Flag factory, effectively disabling their military.

The Italians have increased their alert level from “shout loudly and excitedly” to “elaborate military posturing”. Two more levels remain, “ineffective combat operations” and “change sides”.

The Germans also increased their alert state from “disdainful
arrogance” to “dress in uniform and sing marching songs”. They have 2 higher states, “invade a neighbour” and “lose”.

Seeing this reaction in Europe, the Americans have gone from
“isolationism” to “find somewhere else in the Middle East ripe for
regime change”. Their remaining levels are “take on the world” and “ask the Brits for help”.